Bee-da-bee-da-beep! Newsline. Dateline. Bee-da-bee-da-beep... Come in Radio Free America, bizzz.......da...bizz........Dis is yer man in Saigon with a ............. .........b..e..e..p.., Can you hear me dudes? I'm dyein' man! I'm in the jungle!
I just got in this crashed plane in the jungle and managed to juice the battery for one last transmission.
Come in Houston! C'mon in baby! C'mon baby. I can hear the commies commin' - through the air, through the ground, all over my skin! Ahhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhh!
The ministry is dead! Repeat. The Ministry is dead! Operation 'Ministry of Noodles' has been compromised! Repeat. Send no more agents through the Ministry of Noodles!
It's a trap baby! It's a friggin' trap! I saw dead noodles! Napalm fried, agent orange depersonified dead friggin' noodles baby! It's hell comrads! War is hell my friends------------ --------------------------- The journalistic free press war is over ------------------------------
We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the latest from Radio Free America...... .................. ........ ...........
-Dateline 11, June, Saigon
The Minister is missing. The Ministry is dead. There is no content!
In a midnight raid, somewhere in the last of last month, sources have confirmed that the Ministry of Noodles, NATO's covert CIA, MIA, MI-5, Pravda, DOHLS, NSA, FBI and other really smart enforcement guys had massively fucked up and made Obama look like an idiot again! Something a lotta white folks think is really cool.
They not only shut up, padlocked and basically raped the illegitimate authority of the Ministry of Noodles, but they also kidnapped the Minister!
Even Pravda's pissed off and that's a damn commie rag! Bitch. Bitch! It's like, you've pissed off Dan Rather and Boris Yeltsin at the same time! Jeeziz. What's the world coming too?
(And no, Pravda doesn't make handbags you Asian morons!)
Investigations into the closure of the ministry, the kidnapping of the minister and the general duct-taping of free man's mouths have found that the CSI, MI-5, Tom Cruise, Justin Beiber and a number of other stupid bastards could be behind the crime. We even have reports that it may go way friggin' past 10 Downing Street (which seems to have trouble maintaining residents) and go all the way to the Queen!
Reports to follow...............
............. ................ ........ ......... ......b............. ...e........ ..........e........ ................e...... ...........p
Click here for the final chapter!
Okay, That's it. It's time to cut back on the Bia Hoi and apply the ice to your forehead. After all that time in Bavaria the heat is obviously affecting you.
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