Friday, September 12, 2008

Kim Jong Il, Ill after threats by Palin!

Kim Jong Il, North Korea, Ill, Team America, Dictator, Personality cult, short, funny looking, Pyong Yang, Stroke, operationSEOUL, South Korea (AP) -- North Korea's Kim Jong Il had brain surgery after a stroke last month and could have partial paralysis on one side, media reports said Thursday.

The stroke was apparently triggered after Sarah Palin stood on the tip of the Aleutian Islands and pointed a rifle at North Korea.

"WTF?", Kim reportedly said before collapsing.

Foreign doctors, possibly from China and France, performed the operation on Kim, 66, said the newspapers Dong-a Ilbo and JoongAng Ilbo.
Kim's condition has improved and he is not suffering from slurred speech, a disability often associated with a stroke, thPalin, Bikini, American Flag, Tits, Gun, VP, Female Vice President, Sexy, Photoshop, CNN, Duped, Sarah Palin, John McCain, Aleutian Islandse reports said. However, he has suffered from sporadic spasms, an intense craving for anchovy pizza and the need to watch endless showings of "Team America" according to South Korea's largest newspaper, Chosun Ilbo

Kim is the object of an intense personality cult in the totalitarian nation and the sight of him suffering spasms before a massive crowd would be an embarrassment that could undermine that status. He missed a parade Tuesday commemorating the communist state's founding 60 years ago and stayed home to watch a Dragnet box set.
"I only hope that any situation happening in DPRK should not affect negatively what has been going on in terms of de-nuclearization process" U.N. Secretary-General Ban Ki-moon told a news conference on Thursday at the United Nations. "That soccer mom's gotta be watched", he continued, "She's a real loose cannon!" The McCain camp said little regarding the incident. "John thought she looked hot in that bikini and the flag motif and firearm are consistent with Mr. McCain's foreign policy objectives", they said. "Hell, she didn't pull the trigger", they emphasized, "Kim's just a pussy".

South Korea's main spy agency declined to comment on the reports, only repeating a previous statement that Kim's condition had much improved from an unspecified circulatory problem.

A North Korean news source had this to say: "Our dignified republic exists because Dear General exists," the paper said, referring to Kim, according to the official Korean Central News Agency. "All party members and workers should further unite around the revolutionary leadership."

A cerebral hemorrhage can result in death, paralysis, difficulty in speaking and other disabilities, although if it is minor, recovery is possible without long-term affects. It can also make your pecker really small. Surgery is generally only considered in the most serious cases, he said.
Palin's camp would not confirm nor deny any re-constructive surgery on the candidate's breasts before donning the star spangled bikini. "We think they're real", they said, "You just can't make up a Bio like this woman's and we think that means bio-logy too".

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