Need a little transparency in your relationship?

Courtesy of our buddy, Rich, over at RCNevada, we bring you the latest in pin-up calendars from Eizo Medical Imaging in Germany. This calendar puts to rest any idea that she may be hiding something from you by showing virtually every detail of your babe-of-the-month in startling x-ray imagery. No more wondering if she might be a he, or possibly concealing something in a cavity - it's all exposed here. The agency is BUTTER in Berlin & Duesseldorf and the model is currently residing in my hotel room so don't ask her name. I may have finally found a woman who can be completely open with me. Check out the calender and find your month.

Obama Slams Walmart Black Barbie Scam!

President Obama came out today in firm defiance of the Walmart Black Barbie discount scam. "How dare they cut the bitch by 50%", he said. "She's plastic, for chrissakes!". President Obama was pissed.

A Walmart store in Louisiana caused a stir for selling a Black Barbie at half the price of White Barbie last week. The Black Barbie was $3 and the White, $5.93. A spokesperson for Walmart said the dolls weren't selling well, hence the price cut. "Shit I gotta get on the street and get me a black girl", said Tiger Woods. Turned out he had been spending way too much money on white schwag.

But sociologists and analysts are taking issue with the retailers sale and say it sends the wrong message about Blackness. "The implication of the lowering of the price is that's devaluing the Black doll," Thelma Dye of the Northside Center for Child Development in Harlem told ABC News. Retail analyst Lori Wachs says Walmart needed to look at the bigger picture. "I think there are certain things companies have to be sensitive about and clearly this was one of them," retail she told ABC.

The Obama administration on Saturday called for a broad overhaul of President George W. Bush’s No Bitch Left Behind law, proposing to reshape divisive provisions that encouraged instructors to teach that white girls are better arm candy, narrowed the sexual curriculum, and labeled one in three American schools as pretty much no fun. It was tough.

By announcing that he would send his sexual blueprint to Congress on Monday, President Obama returned to a campaign promise to repair the sprawling federal law, which affects each of the nation’s nearly 100,000 public schools, and Tiger Woods too. His plan strikes a careful balance, retaining some key features of the Bush-era law, including its requirement for annual body tests, while proposing far-reaching inter-cultural changes. Tiger said it was cool.

For more in Political Satire and Satire see:

White House Party Crashers Board Plane Loaded!

Pope Prays For Embattled Putter's Promiscuous Pecker: Tiger Woods Pardoned

Obama Sends 30,000 Troops to Tiger Woods' House!

Obama's Puppy in Rehab After Just a Week

Recession Profit Stategies II

Recession Profit Strategies I

Bush Surveys Presidential Disaster Area

MENSA Endorses McCain/Palin

Putin Hot As Hell Over Palin

SNL Palin/Hillary Open

Cheney Delivers 1 Billion in Aid to Georgia

Obama Splits Ticket - Boots Biden

Belgian Prime Minister Quits Over Budweiser Purchase

Obama Brandishes a Bud for the Bubbas

American Foreign Policy Since WWII

America Overseas - Citizen Mekong to the Rescue

"I'M A MAN, DAMMIT": The Travis Diaries II

"Okay, I was coerced on leaving by a beautiful, if somewhat out of touch with reality girl, who held sex, money and travel in her quiver. Am I an idiot? No. I'm a man DAMMIT! I would have been an idiot had I had not gone on the trip. Case closed. "
- Travis

For more in the Travis Diaries, check here:

Sex: The Travis Diaries I
I'm a man, DAMMIT: The Travis Diaries II
Love: The Travis Diaries III
Tiger: The Travis Diaries IV
Ambivelence: The Travis Diaries V
Advertising People & Blogs: The Travis Diaries VI
What's Left?: The Travis Diaries VII
Year of the Tiger: The Travis Diaries VIII
She said: The Travis Diaries IX
Dreams: The Travis Diaries X
A Bad Day: The Travis Diaries XI
Svengali? The Travis Diaries XII
My Way: The Travis Diaries XIII

Sex: The Travis Diaries I

06.25.09

"I never saw sex make anybody any smarter." -Travis

For more in the Travis Diaries, check here:

Sex: The Travis Diaries I
I'm a man, DAMMIT: The Travis Diaries II
Love: The Travis Diaries III
Tiger: The Travis Diaries IV
Ambivelence: The Travis Diaries V
Advertising People & Blogs: The Travis Diaries VI
What's Left?: The Travis Diaries VII
Year of the Tiger: The Travis Diaries VIII
She said: The Travis Diaries IX
Dreams: The Travis Diaries X
A Bad Day: The Travis Diaries XI
Svengali? The Travis Diaries XII
My Way: The Travis Diaries XIII

Banks, Bombs and Babes: The Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz III

Response to our first Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz was amazing. Our second, off the charts. But now the world has fallen into a global economic crisis and we had to ask ourselves if all the talent we've got prancing around here couldn't be used to alleviate some of the throbbing stress we're all feeling in our financial members - and the answer is of course, yes. This month's physicist is Dr. Kim Loan My Moni and she's ready to probe this financial thing until we all just have a cigarette and doze off. So ... time for the quiz. Below, you'll find a question in Bold Faced Type. Consider the question, come up with your answer, and then "mouse over" (just roll the cursor over it - don't click) the question to reveal our physicist's answer. Should you disagree with it, we'll be more than happy to lock your sorry assets in the safe deposit vault until Dr. Kim can liquidate them.

"Can't we just nuke all the bad banks with suitcase bombs?"



For more quizzes, check here:

Iran's Ahmadinedschad - The Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz VII
Did Sarah Palin Just Nuke Herself? - The Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz VI
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz V
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz IV
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz III
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz II
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz I.

Cold Fusion by Hot Injection: The Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz II

Response to our first Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz was so astounding, we've decided to keep it as a regular feature. This month's physicist is none other than Dr. Trang Phoung Phoung and whatever she may lack upstairs is more than made up for by the lower levels. Is that a test tube rack she's packin' or what? But forget that, on with the quiz. Below, you'll find a question in Bold Faced Type. Consider the question, come up with your answer, and then "mouse over" the question to reveal our physicist's answer. Should you disagree with it, we'll be more than happy to arrange a mud-wrestling match between your sorry ass and the more than fit Dr. Phoung to decide the winner. Or you can check with Kinky Solutions for a man's perspective.

"Can I maintain a woody during ColdFusion?"


For more quizzes, check here:

Iran's Ahmadinedschad - The Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz VII
Did Sarah Palin Just Nuke Herself? - The Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz VI
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz V
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz IV
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz III
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz II
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz I.

The Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz

In response to reader requests we are now introducing the Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz. The questions shall all be posed by a certified Vietnamese nuclear physicist such as the one pictured here, Dr. Nguyen Kim Long. No expense has been spared in vetting our physicists and I can assure you, I have personally checked their credentials myself. Sweet. So now, on with the quiz. Below, you will find a question in Bold Faced Type. Consider the question, come up with your answer, and then "mouse over" the question to reveal our answer. Should you disagree with it, we'll be more than happy to arrange a mud-wrestling match between your sorry ass and the more than fit Dr. Long to decide the winner. So here goes...good luck!



"Can people get poisoned by indirect exposure to polonium-210?"



For more quizzes, check here:

Iran's Ahmadinedschad - The Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz VII
Did Sarah Palin Just Nuke Herself? - The Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz VI
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz V
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz IV
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz III
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz II
Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz I.

A sex Redesign obama For scandal The oprah Wild oral Wild butt East iPhone Dailies!

Yessiree! We've gone and redesigned the whole blog in proper SEO (Search Engine Optimization) fashion to make the most out of search engine's obsessions with colours, dirty words, Obama and anything involving something bad involving Obama. Boy this is gonna throw Google for a loop! A few days ago, I actually ran into a blog that used headlines like the one above because they were trying to get the most out of popular keywords. The blog was just miserably written but had a photo of a somewhat attractive twentysumthing female and a lot of pictures of flowers and wedding dresses and kitty-cats. I almost threw up. I had to purge the girl as one of my "friends" on a particular social networking service. Will the outright shilling never end? She wasn't near as cute as Lonelygirl15.

Has anyone mentioned that the reason good blogs do well is that people like to read what the writers have written? No, not a single SEO consultant can help you with that. If you suck as a writer you just suck and all the technical tinkering in the world can't help you. Or me either.

But I've done something I hope will help my readers with getting through the many times long content I put up here. Rather than forcing people to read white type through black I've reversed the equation so that you can read black type on a lighter background whilst keeping the colour highlights that have become a bit of a trademark at the Wild Wild East Dailies.

And so now, it's your job to tell me what you think. Do you like the new layout and colours, or would you like me to go back to the ImmaBlackBadAssedBlog look and continue our underground quest? Honestly, I think so many of the black on white blogs are just so visually boring and I miss the look of a good magazine design, so I'm not in a big hurry to go totally black on white - and I promise, that even with this little tweaking of the look that I won't loose any of the acerbic yet hopeful commentary many people have become fond of. This is, just truly, a way to make it easier on a lot of people's eyes and computer screens.

Look in the sidebar and find the poll to vote for the blog look. I'll keep this design for about a month and then, based on your input, make a decision on how to proceed in the future. In the meantime, you can Google the "Obama Oprah Anal Oral Sex Butt Scandal" and let me know what you find out. I'm sure somebody's got a post out there.

I'm going to finish today with two reviews that have appeared on "Blogged". You can see my Blogged rating easily in the sidebar and vote for yourself if you like. I do appreciate the comments - at least ones like these:

(9.9) - "A rare foray into the underbelly of being. Takes one back to the golden age of blogging when being a blogger was akin to reporting from the dark side of the moon. Blogging has now become fashionable as well as a slick marketing ploy. David's blog really is a breath of fresh air!!" - David A.

(9.0) - "David writes with insight and personal comments, making it rather interesting read. Once you start reading, you will come back for more. He doesn't need to advertise much, he sells you with his product, it's solid. The good old fashioned way. You can't fake this or try to copy it, it just wouldn't work. This is David's world, and it is quite a read..." - Mads M.

(9.0) - After a long day at the office, this blog is an always fascinating, hangover-free cocktail of keen observation, a nothing-is-sacred perspective and heart. Read it via e-mail ... or, for a full sensory immersion, through your browser. - Freya R.

For more on Obama, click below:

Obama to Send 30,000 Troops to Tiger Woods House

Rick Wagoner Makes History - First CEO To Be Fired By A Sitting President
"I Vote For Black Man!" - Obamanation II
Lunch With Obama: Perspective XVI - The Little Things IX
A sex Redesign obama For scandal The oprah Wild oral Wild butt East iPhone Dailies
"Yes We Can": Obamanation
MENSA Endorces McCain/Palin
Obama Splits Ticket, Boots Biden!
Belgian Prime Minister Quits Over Budweiser Purchase!
Obama Brandishes a Bud For The Bubbas!

For more in Political Satire and Satire see:

White House Party Crashers Board Plane Loaded!

Pope Prays For Embattled Putter's Promiscuous Pecker: Tiger Woods Pardoned

Obama Sends 30,000 Troops to Tiger Woods' House!

Obama's Puppy in Rehab After Just a Week

Recession Profit Stategies II

Recession Profit Strategies I

Bush Surveys Presidential Disaster Area

MENSA Endorses McCain/Palin

Putin Hot As Hell Over Palin

SNL Palin/Hillary Open

Cheney Delivers 1 Billion in Aid to Georgia

Obama Splits Ticket - Boots Biden

Belgian Prime Minister Quits Over Budweiser Purchase

Obama Brandishes a Bud for the Bubbas

American Foreign Policy Since WWII

America Overseas - Citizen Mekong to the Rescue

Attraction vs. Conversion: How To Write the Best Damn Blog in the World - Perspective XIV: The Little Things VII

At first, the number of disabled people - no, let me change that - the number of crippled, maimed and deformed people, on the street in Vietnam can be startling. But once one has lived here for awhile another observation becomes much more astute - how well they fit in - how they are part of not just the environment but the consistent social fabric and neighborhood in terms of relationships, businesses and the daily goings on of things. The shop owners take care of the beggars. There is an obvious harmony that I can not ever remember from America. There we called them street people and since Ronald Reagan cut federal funding for care facilities we banished our disabled to the streets to die. We later re-classified them as homeless to seem more caring. I recall Pioneer Square in Seattle, an historic area of charming cast iron front buildings, putting chain-link fence around all the park benches so the street people didn't sleep on them, which would have destroyed the quaint Americana experience for tourists. At that time, in the late 80s, they said the average lifespan of a street person in Seattle was 18 months, before they died from disease and exposure. Ethnic cleansing? We only like people who are perfect like us. Wash the others out. I thought the chain-link really added to the charm of the area - in an Alcatraz sort of way. The only people I've seen who have made a worse mess of their needy, other than the Americans, for a wealthy country, have been the Koreans. They're just absolute assholes to those who don't fit their Oriental/Arian idea of the perfect Hankook. Koreans hide their disabled and shame them. But that doesn't happen here, and whilst this Communist utopia has about the same health care program as the US, people do get along, and fit in. Maybe that's something to do with having fought and won a war against a fate that would have been much worse than what they have now. Visiting Iraq in 30 years will be interesting to see what America leaves behind. ? The two boys are having a full throttle row on the sidewalk, straight out of Smack-down's greatest hits. He spins and does an awkward lunge in the air which appears to provide a kick to his opponent whilst protecting him from the tiled pavement below. Stunt-man school in Vietnam. And three girls and a very little boy sit in portable plastic chairs as if at ringside cheering the bigger boys on. One of the girls pops up with a piece of plastic leg from a broken chair to mimic a microphone and proceeds to narrarate the match for the remaining crowd of two girls and the little kid. I just eat my noodles and smile. ? Forlorn poor bar girls populate my Internet cafe surrounded by forlorn looking foreign men, Japanese, Korean and Western in an odd dating match that seemingly pits companionship and money against each other with the possibility of sex being a sideline but I can't imagine that much of the western baggage around here can get it up anymore. One guy claims to be celibate but has this rotating cadre of odd girlfriends. Loneliness is fought with a serious arsenal in post war-torn countries. Your wallet. Choosing a paycheck or a meal over a shag is really quit sensible. Chalk up a score for the girls around here. ? And my coffee man smiles, again. I'm at the wet market this morning for a week worth of veggies and am particularly enamored with the fish. But not today. Stories can be told by the palms of the hands of the woman who sells me my vegetables. A gaunt conical hatted vestige, she bears the marks of at least some trying farm work in her earlier years, maybe harvesting sugar and tearing long vertical lines from her palms down to the tips of her fingers. Her fingers are all misshapen in some way from breakage and who knows what and the idea of fingernails has been whittled down to just sort of dirty stumps at the ends. This market work must be a blessing considering the past. She is as sweet as can be and is there, 7 days a week, doesn't speak a lick of English, but always calls loudly to me when I turn onto her outdoor aisle of the market. Big pile of tomatoes, onions, peppers and what-knot. 10 thousand dong. 75 cents. ? Move along cowboy. ? Halloween hit Vietnam last week with a vengeance and had pretty much wasted itself before the actual date. A friend told me the bars were packed on the 30th but I wasn't out that night. He said the Vietnamese couldn't wait. They love ghosts and horror films. I made the colossal mistake of attending a Halloween event hosted by the "Creative Circle", an advertising creative club in Vietnam founded by Aussies, who apparently don't celebrate Halloween, and I did something unheard of to the crusty old dogs who populate the thing - I wore a costume. Now admittedly, it wasn't a very outrageous costume - I went as Martin Sorrell, CEO of WPP Group, arguably the top communication holding company in the world, and it only took a nice suit, one of those "Hello, my name is Martin Sorrell" tags, and a pair of glasses that look exactly like his (cheaply procured here for 2 bucks) - but it was a funny fucking idea, at least for that crowd. Yawn. Imagine the guys at the Creative Circle not doing anything creative at all for Halloween? Seemed normal to them. Only two other people, of roughly 30, wore a costume and they were treated as oddities. I did meet a few other people from Shanghai who were interesting and had a nice conversation with the guy who designed the packaging for my favorite beer in Vietnam, Bierre Larue. Other than that, is was thoroughly disappointing with one young Viet art director leaving, after being informed that there was basically no program for the evening, just beer drinking and a bunch of old foreigners. Yawn. My costume went over much better in my local pub where nobody knows fuck all who Martin Sorrell is, but the girls were all jazzed to see me in a very nice suit. ? The man in the booth next to me at the Internet cafe is talking to himself. He does this often - almost every night after the requisite amount of sud-swilling. Elvis plays. It's surreal as shit. Figuring out if it's PTSD he's affected with or more basic alcoholism is not really possible for me, - sure, I drink beer as well, but I sit at my computer and write. The greater majority of the place has no idea WTF I'm doing. That can be turned into a cocoon of sorts that keeps them all out - and lets this happen. ? So you're just itchin' aren'tcha? What the hell does the title to this post mean? What is he talking about? - The concept of Attraction vs. Conversion has become a bit of a Web 2.0 topic these days. Some like Mark Earls, describe it as "push" vs. "pull" marketing tactic. My friend Ken Johnson, who reviews business books for Amazon, reminded me recently, in his review of "The Peter Principle", that the core concept is over 40 years old. It's the idea that the more I actively market this thing, the less real readers I get. And I mean real readers as opposed to people who come in for the 99 cent special. I get all sorts of hits but only 25% come back over and over - and that's a good thing - considering that of that 25% there are 10% who stay for more than an hour each time. And I can deal with that. - Here's one of the latest of my more interesting readers. He congratulates me for being rejected by a major aggregating service for being "unclassifiable": - "First congratulations. I used to work as a journalist and I am inured to writing to a certain degree (an occupational hazard) - your blog has become riveting precisely because it is uncategorisable. It is not about anything, which in a modern Koan-like manner, makes it almost about everything. I really enjoy the writing and because I understand the drive, I will not deign to be condescending with the trite keep-it-up." - This is the kind of thing that keeps this blog going. This is the pull strategy in action. I didn't ask for this to be written. But I certainly don't mind an "atta-boy" or two. ? The guy in the booth next to me cuts right through the more than omnipresent Elvis that's playing - muttering, "fuck this shit", "fuck you", "fuck Bush" ? All I did today was go shopping and get this post up. Little things, but enough for today.

For more on the "Perspective" or "Little Things" series, click below:

My Morning Wake-Up Call - Perspective XX: The Little Things XII
We'll Have A Gay Old Time - Perspective XIX: The Little Things XII
"Rolled Foggy Disposed Ricepaper" - Perspective XVIII: The Little Things XI
Joyeux Noel - Perspective XVII: The Little Things X
Lunch With Obama - Perspective XVI: The Little Things IX
One Motley Crue On The Bus Today - Perspective XV: The Little Things VIII
Attraction vs. Conversion: How To Power Your Blog - Perspective XIV: The Little Things VII
A glass box full of deep fried chicken heads - Perspective XIII: The Little Things VI
Seoul Searching - Perspective XII
He Would Have Shot Me 40 Years Ago - Perspective XI: The Little Things V
Chomsky on Colour & Sleep - Perspective X: The Little Things IV.2
Running With Scizzors - Perspective IX: The Little Things IV
Henry Miler II - Perspective VIII : The Little Things III.1
Henry Miller - Perspective VII: The Little Things III
Big Brother - Perspective VI: The Little Things II
This Carnival of Life! - Perspective V
The Art Walk - Perspective IV: The Little Things
Bentley #5 - Perspective III.2
Bentley vs. Vespa - Perspective III.1
Bentleys Invade Vietnam - Perspective III
Death Of A Colleague - Perspective II
Perspective

For more on blogs, blogging and bloggers, check here:

Advertising People & Blogs - The Travis Diaries VI
How to Write the Best Damn Blog in the World
Throw That Blog a Bone!
If Blogs Are Free Are They Worthless?
What If Gutenberg Had a Blog?
If You Like the Blog, Read the Book
2008 Annual Report - The Wild Wild East Dailies
Blog Redesign WWED
BarCamp Saigon 2008
Attraction vs. Conversion - How to Power Your Blog
Are the Bloggerati Missing the Market?