Hacktivism against brands: Detri-viral Marketing III

"Of the 100 largest economies in the world, 51 are corporations, not nations."

Merriam Associates reports: "It was just a matter of time before the kinds of people who vandalized brand symbols at world economic summits resorted to brand cyber-vandalism. The Wikileaks hacktivists have targeted and threatened global brands like Mastercard, Visa, Paypal, Amazon, Twitter and Shell. Because of their symbolic power, brands are regularly co-opted to attract attention and dramatize political issues. That is how The Gap has become a symbol for sweatshops, McDonald's for the obesity epidemic, Walmart for labor violations and on and on. Many brands are more powerful than sovereign nations. Of the 100 largest economies in the world, 51 are corporations, not nations."

My first attended discussion at the Vietnam Digital Marketing and Technology Conference was a really fast talking guy from Singapore who gave a very convincing presentation on how, over the last year, Nike won and Accenture lost by their corporate behaviour regarding Tiger Woods*. In terms of public sentiment only, Nike won favour by standing by Tiger Woods and Accenture (those lovely folks who used to be Arthur Anderson) lost. People all over the world vote with their wallet (or credit card) every day. Last year the gay website Fabulis, had their account frozen by CitiBank when a mid-level manager thought the website contained "objectionable content". It did not, unless of course, you are homophobic. "When telephone calls, emails and meetings failed to resolve the situation, Fabulis site owner Jason Goldberg started an online attack, blogging snippets of bank conversations and virally sharing their stonewalling decisions. Just twenty-four hours after Goldberg’s blog campaign began, Citibank recanted, issuing an email apology to Goldberg. Having created an online PR disaster for the bank, Jason then took his business and $625,000 account elsewhere.", reports Business Spectator.

Hacktivism, while mainly associated with the WikiLeaks story currently, can now be practiced by anyone with a computer, an opinion and a few others who agree with them - and all brands should very much be aware of that. I've coined it Detri-Viral marketing. Of course, the best defense is a pro-active offense. More on that here.

* BTW: As a man in China is perceived to be more powerful depending on the number of mistresses he maintains, Tiger's rep in China (Nike's biggest future market) went up, not down.

For more on digital marketing and social networking see:

Xing vs. LinkedIn: Round II
Trial and Error: The New Normal
What's Wrong With My Social Networking? Xing vs. LinkedIn I
Low Tech Germany. Who Knew?
Advertising People and Blogs
How to Write the Best Blog in the World
What If Gutenberg Had a Blog?
If Blogs Are Free Does That Make Them Worthless?
Detri-Viral Marketing II: The Top 10 Social Media Blunders
Bright Lights, Big Internet and the WWED
Saigon Digital Marketing Conference Successfully Avoids Plumbers Convention
A Tale of Many Marketing Conferences
Detri-Viral Marketing I: How Web 2.0 Can Go Against A Brand
Marketing Predictions for 2009
Barcamp Saigon 2008
"Ignore Everybody" is Born: A Plug for Hugh MacLeod
Are the Bloggerati Missing the Market? Asia has Risen,
Into the Gapinvoid - Web 2.0 Social Networking Born 20 Years Ago

Obama Slams Walmart Black Barbie Scam!

President Obama came out today in firm defiance of the Walmart Black Barbie discount scam. "How dare they cut the bitch by 50%", he said. "She's plastic, for chrissakes!". President Obama was pissed.

A Walmart store in Louisiana caused a stir for selling a Black Barbie at half the price of White Barbie last week. The Black Barbie was $3 and the White, $5.93. A spokesperson for Walmart said the dolls weren't selling well, hence the price cut. "Shit I gotta get on the street and get me a black girl", said Tiger Woods. Turned out he had been spending way too much money on white schwag.

But sociologists and analysts are taking issue with the retailers sale and say it sends the wrong message about Blackness. "The implication of the lowering of the price is that's devaluing the Black doll," Thelma Dye of the Northside Center for Child Development in Harlem told ABC News. Retail analyst Lori Wachs says Walmart needed to look at the bigger picture. "I think there are certain things companies have to be sensitive about and clearly this was one of them," retail she told ABC.

The Obama administration on Saturday called for a broad overhaul of President George W. Bush’s No Bitch Left Behind law, proposing to reshape divisive provisions that encouraged instructors to teach that white girls are better arm candy, narrowed the sexual curriculum, and labeled one in three American schools as pretty much no fun. It was tough.

By announcing that he would send his sexual blueprint to Congress on Monday, President Obama returned to a campaign promise to repair the sprawling federal law, which affects each of the nation’s nearly 100,000 public schools, and Tiger Woods too. His plan strikes a careful balance, retaining some key features of the Bush-era law, including its requirement for annual body tests, while proposing far-reaching inter-cultural changes. Tiger said it was cool.

For more in Political Satire and Satire see:

White House Party Crashers Board Plane Loaded!

Pope Prays For Embattled Putter's Promiscuous Pecker: Tiger Woods Pardoned

Obama Sends 30,000 Troops to Tiger Woods' House!

Obama's Puppy in Rehab After Just a Week

Recession Profit Stategies II

Recession Profit Strategies I

Bush Surveys Presidential Disaster Area

MENSA Endorses McCain/Palin

Putin Hot As Hell Over Palin

SNL Palin/Hillary Open

Cheney Delivers 1 Billion in Aid to Georgia

Obama Splits Ticket - Boots Biden

Belgian Prime Minister Quits Over Budweiser Purchase

Obama Brandishes a Bud for the Bubbas

American Foreign Policy Since WWII

America Overseas - Citizen Mekong to the Rescue

Chinese Year of the Tiger; The Travis Diaries VIII

"I had no idea. Thank you Mr. Woods. Thank you. After a year of no comedy with Obama, YOU have made it all possible again. Thank you, Tiger. Thank you Buddha! Thank you Chinese. Thank you universe! I hated 2009." - Travis



For more in the Travis Diaries, check here:

Sex: The Travis Diaries I
I'm a man, DAMMIT: The Travis Diaries II
Love: The Travis Diaries III
Tiger: The Travis Diaries IV
Ambivelence: The Travis Diaries V
Advertising People & Blogs: The Travis Diaries VI
What's Left?: The Travis Diaries VII
Year of the Tiger: The Travis Diaries VIII
She said: The Travis Diaries IX
Dreams: The Travis Diaries X
A Bad Day: The Travis Diaries XI
Svengali? The Travis Diaries XII
My Way: The Travis Diaries XIII

Tiger Woods Pardoned: Pope Prays for Promiscuous Pussy Pandering Putter

In a surprise announcement, Pope Benedict XVI has issued a global edict for prayer for Tiger Woods and has pardoned the embattled putter for his pandering promiscuous behaviour with his pecker in a gesture of forgiveness this Christmas season.

The Pope's love of golf and the beloved Papal golf cart seemed to be at the heart of his appeal. "Oh, Lord spare the Woods. Oh Lord spare the irons. Oh Lord spare the putter with a plan to sink every hole all over this land!", invoked the Pontiff. "Amen". Calls to the Woods' camp were not immediately returned but getting a pardon from the Pope at this more than prickly juncture in his career is certainly a sign of props being lauded on possibly the most successful fleece flocker since Jesus.

"Shit, the Lord hisself couldn't even get Nike sponsorship", said the Vatican's chief black PR guy. "We've been jealous of that prick since he showed up. Maybe by giving him a get-out-of-jail free card he'll invite us to a soiree or two with some of dem hot blonde ho's he's got". "I got Cardinals all over my ass for this dammit", he continued. The Catholic Church has endured strong criticism of late for pardoning priests involved in questionable sexual activities, namely the passing over of pedophile pastors accused of playing with pre-pubescent parishioners for personal gain.

"That's preposterous", claimed another Vatican spokesperson. "Our Priests like little boys. That golfer is pumping his putter into old ladies! It's like comparing green apples and red apples. They're not even the same." Claims that the church is in denial over their views on sexual promiscuity were quickly denied by sources close to the Pope.

Tiger, you got a pass from the big guy. Go for it.

For more in Political Satire and Satire see:

White House Party Crashers Board Plane Loaded!

Pope Prays For Embattled Putter's Promiscuous Pecker: Tiger Woods Pardoned

Obama Sends 30,000 Troops to Tiger Woods' House!

Obama's Puppy in Rehab After Just a Week

Recession Profit Stategies II

Recession Profit Strategies I

Bush Surveys Presidential Disaster Area

MENSA Endorses McCain/Palin

Putin Hot As Hell Over Palin

SNL Palin/Hillary Open

Cheney Delivers 1 Billion in Aid to Georgia

Obama Splits Ticket - Boots Biden

Belgian Prime Minister Quits Over Budweiser Purchase

Obama Brandishes a Bud for the Bubbas

American Foreign Policy Since WWII

America Overseas - Citizen Mekong to the Rescue

Obama Sends 30,000 Troops to Tiger Woods' House - Woods: "I won't come out!"

West Point, New York (CNN) -- President Obama said Tuesday that the deployment of 30,000 U.S. troops to Florida is part of a strategy to reverse Tiger Wood's 'transgressions' with cocktail waitresses and stabilize the country's government.

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In regard to the polo playing party crashers from Virginia and Woods being linked he further stated, "There is no imminent threat of the government being overthrown, but this crap has gone far enough," Obama said at the U.S. Military Academy. "Tiger has not re-emerged but I feel the need to protect the national security of all cocktail waitresses". Obama said he'd begin sending the additional troops "at the fastest pace possible" starting like yesterday "with a goal of getting Woods to withdraw all his wood from all cocktail waitresses by July 2011."

Woods, responding from his bunker-buster-proof 3 million dollar home near Orlando, Re-Tweeted, about 10 times, "For the last week, my family and I have been hounded to expose intimate details of our personal lives - now my brotha's sending in the fucking #Army. Jeeziz." - "How many characters is 140, @Elin?"

The president said additional U.S. forces bolstered by NATO troops "will allow us to accelerate Tiger's removal from the home." Senior administration officials said Tuesday that Obama has a goal of withdrawing most U.S. forces from Woods' home by the end of his current term, which ends in January 2013.

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"Do you have any idea how many golf tournaments this guy's won? If he turns that weapon on all the hostesses and barmaids on this planet, we'll have a pandemic on our hands.", he reiterated. Secretary of state Hillary Clinton backed up Obama. "I've seen this shit before with Bill. You've gotta nip it in the bud!"

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The Rev. Jesse Jackson offered to counsel the Woods, as he did the Clintons, but calls from his office were not immediately returned by Woods.

For more on Obama, click below:

Rick Wagoner Makes History - First CEO To Be Fired By A Sitting President
"I Vote For Black Man!" - Obamanation II
Lunch With Obama: Perspective XVI - The Little Things IX
A sex Redesign obama For scandal The oprah Wild oral Wild butt East iPhone Dailies
"Yes We Can": Obamanation
MENSA Endorces McCain/Palin
Obama Splits Ticket, Boots Biden!
Belgian Prime Minister Quits Over Budweiser Purchase!
Obama Brandishes a Bud For The Bubbas!

For more in Political Satire and Satire see:

White House Party Crashers Board Plane Loaded!

Pope Prays For Embattled Putter's Promiscuous Pecker: Tiger Woods Pardoned

Obama Sends 30,000 Troops to Tiger Woods' House!

Obama's Puppy in Rehab After Just a Week

Recession Profit Stategies II

Recession Profit Strategies I

Bush Surveys Presidential Disaster Area

MENSA Endorses McCain/Palin

Putin Hot As Hell Over Palin

SNL Palin/Hillary Open

Cheney Delivers 1 Billion in Aid to Georgia

Obama Splits Ticket - Boots Biden

Belgian Prime Minister Quits Over Budweiser Purchase

Obama Brandishes a Bud for the Bubbas

American Foreign Policy Since WWII

America Overseas - Citizen Mekong to the Rescue

Woods Slams Wood When Wife Won't: The Travis Diaries IV

"Tiger got busted by the wifie, so he went out and slammed his wood into a tree made of, uhh, wood. Beautiful women are a bitch" - Travis


For more in the Travis Diaries, check here:

Sex: The Travis Diaries I
I'm a man, DAMMIT: The Travis Diaries II
Love: The Travis Diaries III
Tiger: The Travis Diaries IV
Ambivelence: The Travis Diaries V
Advertising People & Blogs: The Travis Diaries VI
What's Left?: The Travis Diaries VII
Year of the Tiger: The Travis Diaries VIII
She said: The Travis Diaries IX
Dreams: The Travis Diaries X
A Bad Day: The Travis Diaries XI
Svengali? The Travis Diaries XII
My Way: The Travis Diaries XIII