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| Anna Wintour and Michelle Obama |
I had done a post back in December of last year called "How To Write The Best Damn Blog In The World" and it's high time for an update because I have new info. I now have the secret to "how (NOT) to write that blog" and here it is, with a plain graphic to explain it all to you.
President Obama came out today in firm defiance of the Walmart Black Barbie discount scam. "How dare they cut the bitch by 50%", he said. "She's plastic, for chrissakes!". President Obama was pissed.
Homeland Security Czar Janet Napolitano shrugged off security lapses on ABC this week defending the work of her agency and associated law enforcement agencies with the statement, "The system worked". Never the less noted White House party crashers Michaele and Tariq Salahi were able to board a flight to Yemen with little tiny airline sized bottles of Corbel stuffed into their underwear this week with nary a peep from security personnel at the airport. "She's one hot biotch", said a security guard who spoke on the condition of anonymity. "I wanted to get a peek down her panties, but we just used that magnetometer instead. I was way disappointed, for sure.", he added.
bottles around and possibly in their respective private parts. (See skanky underwear photo.) "This crap has got to stop", said another unnamed security official. "Cabin pressure goes up and dem teeny corks start poppin - they coulda put somebody's eye out up there!"' Yemeni officials were quick to confiscate the champagne once the Salahis deplaned and were off to the back room for a big rippin' staff party.
West Point, New York (CNN) -- President Obama said Tuesday that the deployment of 30,000 U.S. troops to Florida is part of a strategy to reverse Tiger Wood's 'transgressions' with cocktail waitresses and stabilize the country's government.
In a departure from our normal Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz we have given our customary Vietnamese Ph.D.s, a break (and boy did they need it) and invited, soon to be, ex-governor of Alaska, the honorable Sarah Palin to be our guest physicist for the day. She quits her job tomorrow, you know. Oh, sure, we know she's not Vietnamese and a little older than our usually tasty authorities but hell, look at the bazoombas on that girl. We think she can handle the atoms around here. So let's let this soccer mom rip! Below, you'll find a question in Bold Faced Type. Consider the question, come up with your answer, and then "mouse over" (just roll the cursor over it - don't click) the question to reveal our physicist's answer. Should you disagree with it, we'll be more than happy to have Sarah check that harpoon you're holding all by yourself.
News of the Obama's new puppy, Bo, spread like wildfire last week and easily beat the crap out of any stories from the G20 summit or the prez's recent South American trip. But news of the pooch's drinking problem was considered classified and received a "no comment" from Secret Service contacts deep inside the White House. President Obama promised his daughters Malia and Sasha that they'd be getting a puppy on the night he won the election back in November 2008 - he's six months old and is a Portuguese water dog - but what the Obama's didn't count on were hereditary traits passed on in the same lineage as Sen. Ted Kennedy's canine compatriots.
The dog's drinking has been a huge news story in America, and even on Friday President Obama was being asked about it. Some websites were reporting the Obamas found the dog passed out on day one and when a journalist asked the President about it he said: "Oh, man, now, that's top secret." The Betty Fido clinic will be the site of the dog's rehabilitation plan and the Obama's hope to retain posession of a "clean and sober" Bo after a thorough twelve step program. Looking years into the future one can also see a resemblance between the puppy and Kennedy once his hair, the puppy's that is, turns grey. No plans for Kennedy's rehabilitation have been announced.
Response to our first Vietnamese Nuclear Physics Quiz was amazing. Our second, off the charts. But now the world has fallen into a global economic crisis and we had to ask ourselves if all the talent we've got prancing around here couldn't be used to alleviate some of the throbbing stress we're all feeling in our financial members - and the answer is of course, yes. This month's physicist is Dr. Kim Loan My Moni and she's ready to probe this financial thing until we all just have a cigarette and doze off. So ... time for the quiz. Below, you'll find a question in Bold Faced Type. Consider the question, come up with your answer, and then "mouse over" (just roll the cursor over it - don't click) the question to reveal our physicist's answer. Should you disagree with it, we'll be more than happy to lock your sorry assets in the safe deposit vault until Dr. Kim can liquidate them.
