Saturday, June 7, 2008

One night in a Saigon bar...

At one point I didn't have insurance.

Rainee: I don't give a fuck.

Brian: So do most people in Utah think the government planned 911.

Rainee: People in Utah don't know fuck all about anything. All they care about is Jello and church. They don't know fuck all.

Mark: Explain the Jello.

Rainee: Jello is just cheap food. People like cheap stuff.

Brian: Cause I get so bored brushing my teeth that I do sit-ups and brush my teeth at the same time.

Rainee: People in Utah are very into sports. They play hockey.

Brian: LDS. I went to their temple in Oakland.

Rainee: Money. It's all about the money.

Brian: It was gorgeous. Expensive. Nice interior.

Rainee: We have a Sin Tax.

Mark: In Oregon you don't have any state sales tax.

Rainee: On anything that pollutes your body. And there's only certain kinds of porn you can have.

Brian: The only thing I know about porn is that you can't combine violence and penetration.

Brian: You know where they say the best tittie bars are in the US?

Rainee: In the Bible belt.

Brian: Yes! Dallas and Atlanta.

Rainee: Kegs are illegal. Cause there's too much alcohol in one container. In California you can go to Trader Joes.

Brian: And you get good quality, bread, peanut butter, hydrogenated oil. I buy already cooked chicken. I put in red bell peppers, green peppers...

Rainee: Or some habaneros in it...

Brian: But it's very hard to find tortillas without hydrogenated oil...

Rainee: But I'm from Crete. If I put in too much Feta it tastes like shit. My mom and my aunts can make this shit in a minute. There's like twelve different kinds of olives.

Brian: Do you know what Crete is famous for in military history?

Rainee: Maybe, my mom told me something about it.

Brian: They don't know their alphabet: Linear A. They don't know Linear B.
And then the Germans cracked Linear B. And they also don't know Etruscan.

Brian: But to understand Spanish in Spain, I can understand what they're saying but in Chili I couldn't understand anything.

Rainee: So I was in Brazil. And my friend lives in a tree. Overlooking the ocean. And we all go in and smoke a little doob and I'm having a problem with the food. And I'm not feeling good and the woman in the house lifts up my shirt and there's huge welts, inflamation everywhere, and it turns out to be mosquito bites all over my back. And she gives me some tea, and the next day everything is ok.

Today has been the most random day ever, almost.
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