Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Vietnam, at the center of Miss Universe?: Nothing Much Happened Again Today, IV

t Gone are the warping helicopter blade swirls of "Apocalyspe Now" replaced by the dulcet tones of Kylie Minogue (can I go expunge now?) for the finale of this year's Miss Universe Pageant in Nha Trang, Vietnam. Add to that, Donald Trump, Miss Venezuela, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson, in town for the winner of VietBentley, Donald Trump, Miss Universe, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, Rolls Royce, Simon Cowell, Vietnam Idolnam Idol 2008, and you've got either, what is the smoldering product of the latest in sharecropping technologies from Cambodia, or just another surreal day here in Vietnam. q I've been trolling the fivBentley, Donald Trump, Miss Universe, Paula Abdul, Randy Jackson, Rolls Royce, Simon Cowell, Vietnam Idole-star hotel's lobby bars trying to see if I could pick up Paula Abdul but to no avail. e Alas, Cougars are a bit out of my league. I'm too old. m A white Rolls Royce Phantom pulled up in front of my place of employment the other day and totally eclipsed all those Bentley's I've been spotting. As the Rolls swung up over the curb to rest on the sidewalk, the hood ornament flipped descretely upside down and disappeared into safe mode atop the grill, leaving nothing but a little flat chrome surface – hence, nothing to steal. y Here, in the coffee and coconut capital of Southeast Asia, on everything from a Corolla to a Ferrari, the nameplates must be riveted onto the vehicles so as not to be stolen by two-bit gangsters looking for a neckchain ornament. s No wonder I couldn't find Ms. Abdul. She must have enough cheesy costume jewelry to host a convention for these guys. But that would be funny – they'd have to que up at the registration table to get a name tag that says, "Hello, my name is Phat Phuc". g And so another day passes – aside from the parade of beauties, both mechanically refined and surgically enhanced, nothing much happened in Vietnam today. l

For more in the "Nothing much happened" series, check below:

VIII People Are Just Dieing To Get Out of Here
VII The Hair Job
VI Happy New Year! Chúc Mừng Năm Mới!
V The Vietnam sNews
IV At The Center of Miss Universe
III My Walk in the Park Today
II The Stevie Wonder Post
I Ear Cleaning
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