Thursday, December 30, 2010

How much does THAT cost?

Man calls house painter and says, "How much does it cost to paint my house?" House painter looks at house and says, "$1000". Man says, "how much if I help?" House painter says, "$2000".

Man walks into McDonald's. Says, "You make hamburgers here, right?" Clerk says, "Sure we're fucking McDonald's. We own hamburgers". Man slaps a pound of beef on the counter and says, "Great, give me 4 Quarter-Pounders. How much will that cost?"

Clients. Geez. They all love my plan but they want to execute it themselves. Recipe for disaster. They think they are saving money - and in the meantime, when I tell them what they are fucking up, they just think I am rude. Not billable. A pain in the ass.

"How much does the secret sauce cost dude?"

There's nothing worse than writing a plan and having to execute it with a cadre of conscripts who don't work for you. I design the building. I hire the bricklayers. I hire the drywall guys. Why? Because they work for me. And I make sure it gets done right - or they don't get paid.

I have to work with your people? Painful.

The minute you give me your own people, they don't work for me. Then I'm just a large freelance pain in their ass.

Note to clients: It will cost you a whole lot more to have me teach you how to do it, than to actually do it myself.
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