The Ministry is Dead! Long Live the Ministry!

Bee-da-bee-da-beep! Newsline. Dateline. Bee-da-bee-da-beep... Come in Radio Free America, bizzz.......da...bizz........da..... ......come in dammit!

Dis is yer man in Saigon with a ............. .........b..e..e..p.., Can you hear me dudes? I'm dyein' man! I'm in the jungle!

I just got in this crashed plane in the jungle and managed to juice the battery for one last transmission.

Come in Houston! C'mon in baby! C'mon baby. I can hear the commies commin' - through the air, through the ground, all over my skin! Ahhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhhhhhhhh hhhhhhhhh!

The ministry is dead! Repeat. The Ministry is dead! Operation 'Ministry of Noodles' has been compromised! Repeat. Send no more agents through the Ministry of Noodles!

It's a trap baby! It's a friggin' trap! I saw dead noodles! Napalm fried, agent orange depersonified dead friggin' noodles baby! It's hell comrads! War is hell my friends------------ --------------------------- The journalistic free press war is over ----------------------------------- ------------------ -------------------------------------- --------------------------!

We interrupt this broadcast to bring you the latest from Radio Free America...... .................. ........ ...........

-Dateline 11, June, Saigon

The Minister is missing. The Ministry is dead. There is no content!

In a midnight raid, somewhere in the last of last month, sources have confirmed that the Ministry of Noodles, NATO's covert CIA, MIA, MI-5, Pravda, DOHLS, NSA, FBI and other really smart enforcement guys had massively fucked up and made Obama look like an idiot again! Something a lotta white folks think is really cool.

They not only shut up, padlocked and basically raped the illegitimate authority of the Ministry of Noodles, but they also kidnapped the Minister!

Even Pravda's pissed off and that's a damn commie rag! Bitch. Bitch! It's like, you've pissed off Dan Rather and Boris Yeltsin at the same time! Jeeziz. What's the world coming too?

(And no, Pravda doesn't make handbags you Asian morons!)

Investigations into the closure of the ministry, the kidnapping of the minister and the general duct-taping of free man's mouths have found that the CSI, MI-5, Tom Cruise, Justin Beiber and a number of other stupid bastards could be behind the crime. We even have reports that it may go way friggin' past 10 Downing Street (which seems to have trouble maintaining residents) and go all the way to the Queen!

Reports to follow...............
............. ................ ........ ......... ......b............. ...e........ ..........e........ ................e...... ...........p

Click here for the final chapter!

Belgian Prime Minister quits over Budweiser purchase - endorses Obama!

BRUSSELS, Belgium — Belgium's government collapsed Tuesday, unable to resolve an enduring divide over the purchase of Budweiser. The gap was so wide the premier, Yves Leterme, suggested the end of Belgium as a country was looming. King Albert II immediately began political discussions with lawmakers to try to resolve the situation. In an unusual declaration, the premier quit and said Belgium's constitutional crisis stems from the fact that "Budweiser is one of the crappiest beers in the world!"

"This is absolute madness. Here we are, a country famous for great beer and we're buying this swill? Gimme a f%#*^ng break!" Leterme added. "The stuff's made with rice!"

Leterme failed to get his cabinet -- an unwieldy alliance of Christian Democrats, Liberals, Socialists and nationalist Stella Artois drinkers that took office March 20 -- to agree on a better beer to buy than Budweiser. Vice-premier Didier Reynders urged him to stay on, saying the government must go ahead with its domination of world beers program. Elio di Rupo, leader of the Francophone Socialists, said the lackluster lager reform negotiations were held in a "constructive, positive and extremely fluid climate." But mainstream Flemish parties -- including Leterme's own Christian Democrats -- accused French-speaking parties of not knowing crap about good beer. "Go ahead, name a decent French beer, you morons!", they collectively voiced.

In a separate announcement Leterme endorsed Barack Obama for US President and indicated he would now be free to accept a Vice Presidential nod from Obama.

"He's the only American who's got his head screwed on straight", he opined, "America needs to learn to keep it's crap to itself, even if a bunch of numb-nuts from a small European monarchy are dim enough to want to buy it." The Obama camp responded with stock PR release stating the candidate was feeling "retinal fatigue and slightly under the weather" after his strong support for retaining the American brewing powerhouse over the weekend. No comment on Leterme's resignation or VP opportunity was offered.

For more on Obama, click below:

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"Yes We Can": Obamanation
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Obama Splits Ticket, Boots Biden!
Belgian Prime Minister Quits Over Budweiser Purchase!
Obama Brandishes a Bud For The Bubbas!

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MENSA Endorses McCain/Palin

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