Paris Wallpaper - Sometimes the best prayers have no words: The Wild Wild East Goes West VII

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Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Xavier Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris Paris I pray Yen finds her way.

For more in the WWE Goes West Series check here:

I) The Wild Wild East Goes West: Onward Ho!
II) Frankfurt
III) C'est Si Bon
IV) Bon Jour Paris!
V) Les Picassos en Paris
VI) Nothing Much Happened en Paree Today
VII) Paris Wallpaper: Sometimes The Best Prayers Have No Words
VIII) Au Revoir Paris
IX) Is Publicis Groupe a Dead Brand?

$57 Billion USD in Vietnam FDI: Show me the money!

SEP 25, 2008
Vietnam Business News

Vietnam attracts over 57 billion USD in nine months Viet Nam attracted 57.12 billion USD in FDI over the past nine months, a five-fold increase on the same period last year, the Foreign Investment Agency (FIA) has said.

According to the foreign investment watchdog, foreign investors were very keen on investing in industry and construction as they poured a staggering 32.3 billion USD into 484 projects in those fields during the first nine months of 2008. The FIA estimated that investment in projects in the fields of industry and construction accounted for 57.48% and 54.68% of the total FDI and the overall number of projects, respectively. The service sector attracted overseas investment of 23.7 billion USD for 361 projects while the agriculture, forestry and fisheries sectors drew in just 1.12 billion USD.

The FIA reported that Malaysia has climbed into first place on the list of 40 countries and territories who have invested in Vietnam in the past nine months. The Southeast Asian country has registered 14.8 billion USD for 37 projects, accounting for 26.45 percent and 4.1%, respectively, of the registered FDI and the number of investment projects.

The second-largest foreign investor was Taiwan, with 8.6 billion USD and 116 projects, followed by Japan, Brunei and Canada. In the past nine months, 8.1 billion USD in FDI was disbursed, an increase of 37.3% over the same period last year, according to the FIA.

Notes: Stay out of the fish business. And who's to know if these numbers are even close to real. The government here is well known for just manufacturing numbers when it's convenient and sells well. But then again, it beats the US where the numbers are real and in the negative billions. In the US you can't blink an eye without another bank going bust or Sarah Palin saying something dumber than Dan Quayle, while in Vietnam a new bank pops up every day looking to get a start in a market where only 10% of the population currently participates in the banking system.

Sweet Dreams II: Strange Dreams - Interpretation please?

1) Is there a map that puts Canada, Korea and Michigan on the same continent? I work there running a company. 2) I am fishing and getting a million little fish (pictured) in a sieve to bring to market. They tell me the owner is very happy. My catch is appreciated. And a previous Korean girlfriend (pictured) walks in a diaphonous coctail dress looking sexy and exuding a confidence she never actually had, with funny old Mrs. Woo looking like an old Cheju Island statue (pictured) with a faker than fake smile chiseled on her face. Dominick, my old friend and past financial advisor just hangs his head in this parade of ghosts wearing a trench coat and too shy to look me in the eye. I bark at Mrs. Woo and tell her to "stop smiling" (Koreans smile when they are lying or embarrased). But they are all walking parallel to me as if separated by a fence or moat. 4) They say Mr. somebody, Mr. somebody works in Korea and Canada but lives in Michigan. I can see a map. They are all next to each other. 5) I see signs being hung, as if at Pike's Place Market in Seattle for fish, sausages and other fresh items and all the prices are the same as the US but it is not the US. It is dreamland. 6) I don't know anything about Canada. How did I end up here?

For more Sweet Dreams Click below:

VI: I Woke Up Drunk Today
V: Homecoming
IV: All In A Mouse's Night
III: Fragmented Fermentations
II: Strange Dreams
I: White Huskies: Interpretation please?

The Vietnam sNews - Nothing Much Happened Again Today in Vietnam: V

Yep, today was boring as usual. A slow news day - so I'm going to spend some time with the local paper, The Vietnam sNews and read it to you - cover to cover.

Let's go!

The Vietnam sNews - all the news the censors say is fit.

Front page:

Headline: British glam rocker Gary Glitter freed in Vietnam

By SUPIN WANNAGOHORNY – 4 days ago

BANGKOK, Thailand (PP) — British glam rocker Gary Glitter was refused entry into Thailand, officials said Wednesday, a day after the convicted child molester was freed by Vietnam following nearly three years in prison.

The 64-year-old Glitter arrived at Bangkok, Thailand's international airport after Vietnam deported him. But he refused to board a connecting flight to London and officials denied him entry into Thailand, a senior immigration official told The Associated Press.

Glitter was confined to an airport transit lounge, police Maj. Gen. Phongded Chaiprawat said. Phongded said he did not known Glitter's next destination but that it was the responsibility of Thai Airways International, the national carrier on which Glitter was flying, to fly him out of Thailand. "Those assholes ought to fly him to hell, that f#%&*^$! pervert", he stated.

Another Thai immigration official at the airport said his department received a note from Vietnam and Interpol requesting that Glitter not be allowed entry into Thailand. "Give him the old cavity search for about 18 hrs.", the note read, "He liked that sort of thing in prison". The official spoke on condition of anonymity since he was not authorized to speak to the press.

The immigration official said Glitter refused to board the London-bound plane, complaining of an ear ache. Immigration officials, he said, gave the airline permission to take Glitter to an airport clinic where the doctor checked his complaint. He was then returned to the airport's lounge with the ear having been removed and put into a jar of formaldahyde for reattachment after the flight. Poofter.

Page 2- Business:

Headline: Smelly seafood industry loves exports

By Khanh Thanh Manh– 4 days ago

HCM CITY — In the first seven months of the year, Viet Nam’s seafood export turnover increased by 200 per cent year on year to US$20.4 billion, according to the Viet Nam Association of Seafood Exporters and Pirates (VASEP). "Geeez, the smell of fish around here is excruciating! You'd think somebody died but we're laughing all the way to the bank", said a representative who wished to remain un-named. In July alone, processors exported over 136,000 tonnes of stinky seafood, worth nearly $476 million, according to VASEP. This is the highest growth rate for quantity and value in the past three hundred years. "This stuff was poor quality anyway. Better to get a bunch of dumb foreigners to eat it than serving it to our own people", the official stated.

Page 3- International:

Headline: Foreign men come by the bazzilions to Vietnam

By Tranh Phanh Schwanh– 4 days ago

(23-08-2008)

HCM CITY — Although this year’s rate of male attraction to Viet Nam is lower than last year’s, the country is still the fiftieth most attractive destination for men among emerging markets, according to the second annual PricewaterhosePoopers (PwP) Emerging Market 20 Index. "You could put your money in Mongolia and chase camels across the Gobi but Vietnam's warmer, has beautiful women and the ability to get over-the-counter drugs that you'd need a court order for in the western world" said an immigrant who wished not to be identified.

"I get a woody just thinkin' about it", he continued. The index shows that the BRIC countries (Brazil, Russia, India and China) continue to offer good opportunities for male investment. However, the results of PwP’s innovative country risk and reward model put Vietnam in a class of it's own. "I chase tail in Vietnam every day and all I ever loose is the cash in my pocket, a celphone or an iPod or two. I'm good to go!"

Page 4 - Finance:

Headline: Cashew cash goes south

By Lanh Quanh Danh– 4 days ago

(23-08-2008)

BINH DINH — Farmers are chopping down cashew plants in the south-central province of Binh Dinh, complaining the crop "ain't worth a hill of beans".

Figures from the province’s agricultural department show that the area under cashew cultivation has shrunk by 10,000 ha this year to 180,000ha. Up to another 20,000ha are forecast to be lost this year.

Farmers say that if the weather is fine a ha of cashew yields 400 kilograms of nuts. At VND10,000-15,000 per kilogram, they earn a profit of a mere VND2-3 million per ha. Ha, ha, ha. "Chicken feed, I'd say", said Tranh Long Dich, an ex-cashew farmer

If the crop is affected by disease, the profit turns into a loss, they points out.

With the plants usually grown on hilly land in Binh Dinh Province, they find it hard to apply intensive farming. If there is heavy rain during the time the plants blossom, they bear few fruit, leading to even lower productivity. "This is crap", said another local farmer, "I'm going to Saigon to open a massage parlour. I'm getting a line to Amex and will just bleed expat foreigners coming in here on fat corporate contracts. Now that's a living I tell ya. Screw cashews."

Page 5 - Leisure:

Headline: Belly dancing boyz bare their buttons

By Zanh Xuanh Nanh– 4 days ago

(23-08-2008)

I almost didn’t recognise Nguyen Manh, an office worker, when he changed from business attire to an Arabian dress, adorned with bells and baring his midriff. He is getting ready for his belly dance class with South Korean dance teacher Ara Hwang, who is considered to have first introduced Viet Nam to belly dancing. Many men like Manh are taking up belly dancing as a new fitness and beauty trend in Ha Noi and HCM City. "Being gay used to be a problem in Vietnam but no longer", he said. "Now chicks dig me!"

Lan finds office work repetitive and stressful, he was first attracted to belly dancing as a way to relax, but has since discovered other benefits. He has been belly dancing for over a year, and while other students go to one class a week, he attends at least four.

"Practising once a week is not enough to remember the dance movements, I have to practice regularly," he says.

"Belly dance is not so much for fitness or weight loss, if I just wanted to lose weight, I would go to aerobics class, but I'm gay so all I care about is meeting men who want have rabid uncontrolled wild sex with me!" says Lan. "I love belly dance because it makes me love my body and discover my true self."

Disclaimer: Of course none of this is real. Are you a bleeding idiot? No animals were hurt in the making of this blog. None of the people except Gary Glitter are real. This is satire. Deal with it.

For more in the "Nothing much happened" series, check below:

VIII People Are Just Dieing To Get Out of Here
VII The Hair Job
VI Happy New Year! Chúc Mừng Năm Mới!
V The Vietnam sNews
IV At The Center of Miss Universe
III My Walk in the Park Today
II The Stevie Wonder Post
I Ear Cleaning