Bentleys ain't squat in Vietnam nomore!

Move over boyz. Da Rolls Phantoms iz here in Vietnam and they're taking over from the Bentleys .

No longer a centrally planned government with it's feet in Stalinism, Vietnam has now embraced the worst of western society - making its countrymen look like total peons while the chosen drive around in the economic equivalent of the Space Shuttle. I'm absolutely sure that Ho Chi Minh, the President and holistic leader of his people, who refused to live in the Presidential mansion and had a far more simple home built on the grounds, would approve. Bollocks. Just take a look at the photos of Rolls Royce Phantoms, all shot right here in Vietnam, and notice particularly, the spare environs that surround them. Bollocks is right. I saw this same phenomena in Mongolia years ago when I went there to produce a TV show about the 2004 Olympics. In Mongolia, one of the poorest and most sparsely populated countries on the planet, there was no shortage of jet-black Hummers trolling the Gur infested countryside (pictured on the right), courtesy of the local gold and silver mining companies -- the only people in Mongolia who were making any money at all. And here in Vietnam, things seem to be catching up with America, Europe, Japan and Korea. I started counting Bentleys just this year. Looks like in no time the Commies will be pitching themselves off high-rise buildings and getting their government to bailout their bad business deals once the Rolls needs an oil change. And who pays? The people always pay. And hasn't it always been that way? The current fact that 10% of the world's population holds 80% of the wealth doesn't seem at all shocking once you remember that Louis XIV had the entire, largely unpaid, French court living in the Palace of Versailles, in what amounted to impeccably decorated dormitories, while the common people starved. (Cue: Beatles, "Revolution") Vietnam can certainly thank France for that legacy. But as George Washington never lived in the White House and Ho Chi Minh never owned more than a Pugeot 440, (pictured on the left) maybe it's time for our leaders to set an example for their people again. George W. Bush has certainly assured that as history advances, his photo will hold no match for that of Che Guavera adorning t-shirts of yet another generation to grow and challenge the status quo. In Vietnam we can also rest assured that no Bentley or Rolls owner will ever have to compete with Ho Chi Minh for those same t-shirt honours.

My thanks to DJGJ for the Rolls info and make sure to give them some grief about having a blog with nothing in it!

Vietnam, at the center of Miss Universe?: Nothing Much Happened Again Today, IV

t Gone are the warping helicopter blade swirls of "Apocalyspe Now" replaced by the dulcet tones of Kylie Minogue (can I go expunge now?) for the finale of this year's Miss Universe Pageant in Nha Trang, Vietnam. Add to that, Donald Trump, Miss Venezuela, Simon Cowell and Randy Jackson, in town for the winner of Vietnam Idol 2008, and you've got either, what is the smoldering product of the latest in sharecropping technologies from Cambodia, or just another surreal day here in Vietnam. q I've been trolling the five-star hotel's lobby bars trying to see if I could pick up Paula Abdul but to no avail. e Alas, Cougars are a bit out of my league. I'm too old. m A white Rolls Royce Phantom pulled up in front of my place of employment the other day and totally eclipsed all those Bentley's I've been spotting. As the Rolls swung up over the curb to rest on the sidewalk, the hood ornament flipped descretely upside down and disappeared into safe mode atop the grill, leaving nothing but a little flat chrome surface – hence, nothing to steal. y Here, in the coffee and coconut capital of Southeast Asia, on everything from a Corolla to a Ferrari, the nameplates must be riveted onto the vehicles so as not to be stolen by two-bit gangsters looking for a neckchain ornament. s No wonder I couldn't find Ms. Abdul. She must have enough cheesy costume jewelry to host a convention for these guys. But that would be funny – they'd have to que up at the registration table to get a name tag that says, "Hello, my name is Phat Phuc". g And so another day passes – aside from the parade of beauties, both mechanically refined and surgically enhanced, nothing much happened in Vietnam today. l

For more in the "Nothing much happened" series, check below:

VIII People Are Just Dieing To Get Out of Here
VII The Hair Job
VI Happy New Year! Chúc Mừng Năm Mới!
V The Vietnam sNews
IV At The Center of Miss Universe
III My Walk in the Park Today
II The Stevie Wonder Post
I Ear Cleaning

Technorati Update & UFOs in Vietnam!

Wednesday, and I'm way overdue for an update. My usual post diet is to get in three a week – two short and one long. When you see one of the longer posts, that could take me anywhere from five to eight hours, depending on complexity. Sometimes the number of links included, along with graphics and images can take two extra hours of HTML programing, aside from the actual writing. But this has been a busy week and I've had no time for that kind of detail. Meetings with lawyers over a bad contract situation, starting a new assignment and moving house have been enough to keep me busy.

But sometimes nice things happen on one front when you're busy on another and so this week's Technorati ranking is in. And we've jumped, inexplicably it seems, from seven hundred thousand and ninety-something to a very nice looking 524,474 – just inside the 1/2% mark. And much faster than I had expected. So onward... Who da "F" are you? This week's map includes an unnamed island off the coast of Africa, Ecuador, Botswana and Mongolia! Now we're getting global.

Elsewhere in Vietnam, Kevin Miller over at SaigonNezumi reports a UFO crash on Phu Quoc Island in Vietnam! Get the whole scoop on his blog. Personally, I think it was just a Bentley that fell from the sky. That seems to be happening a lot here. Or has Rupert Murdoch snuck into country when I wasn't looking? Geez. Commie reporters are on the scene! More later...

$2.42 cents!: But not from PayPerPost

Monetize baby! That's what I urged you all to help me do a few posts ago and I'm happy to report it's working like gangbusters! A big shout-out to Joyce for getting the ball rolling. Before Joyce, I was just sitting on a measly 0.83 cents – for two month's work – but after her hard-clicking efforts, I'm up to a blistering $2.42! – a better than three-fold increase. That's all green my friends – all green.

And so with this little head of steam, we're heading into Phase II of the Wild Wild East Monetization Program. It gets positively snarky from this point on. Enter, the perfectly, positive people at PayPerPost. According to their website, they're offering me $20 bucks if anybody goes there and converts themselves into an active account because they saw it here first. In the fine print; paragraph 17.2a there is a small mention of "transferring right of first refusal of first newborn male progeny from contractor to client" and something about DNA checking but other than that, things seem pretty much on the up-and-up.

Here's a blurb from their site:

I signed up for PPP!

You are our newest Postie... Help us spread the word!

Opportunity Description:

We are looking for new Posties to talk about what you love best about PayPerPost. We want to know why you signed up and how you heard about us. Have you made any new friends? What have you learned? Spread the love!

What are you going to do with all the money you earn!?!?!?!

***Please remember to have at least one original/non-sponsored post before and after this post. (required for all sponsored posts)***

Link(s): payperpost" type="text">

» Posts must include a link

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You know, there's a lot to think about in life today. There's the global warming thing, the idea that a black man and a pretty woman are in a catfight for our nation's highest offices, that nasty bailout business, the fake memoir scandal and the debate over whether Spitzer's bitch will get rich or not – but here's a good clean, no compromise deal!

In accordance with the request from PPP I will dutifully be reporting to you about "all the new friends I've made", "what I have learned" and a detailed description of "what I'm going to do with all the money I earn?".




Shoot. I'm going to black out the windows of my Bentley in Vietnam so all the little people can't see me. Yeah, that's what I'm going to do.



P.S. As a post script, I haven't heard squat from Pay Per Post since this went up. I certainly haven't made my $20 and they have not even approved this blog. I just wrote to them and asked them to discontinue my account. This looks like another dead end on the Internet. BS 2.0

Bentley #5: Perspective III.2

For anyone who's counting along with me, I just logged Bentley #5 here in Vietnam today. This model, a two door white Continental GT, with a rakish rear roof line was a particular shame to behold. Where in the hell is anyone going to get any driving enjoyment out of that car in this country? The highways in Vietnam have been built with ISO Certified Afghan technology that picks up where the Soviets left off. Even the oxen stay off em'. And who spends that kind of money on a white friggin' car? Communist hairdressers?

I'll have to ring up BritCham this week and see where the rally and Queen's Birthday Bar-B-Que are being held this year. Could be a charming afternoon in the country... if we don't get our paint jobs dinged by falling coconuts.

For more on the "Perspective" or "Little Things" series, click below:

My Morning Wake-Up Call - Perspective XX: The Little Things XII
We'll Have A Gay Old Time - Perspective XIX: The Little Things XII
"Rolled Foggy Disposed Ricepaper" - Perspective XVIII: The Little Things XI
Joyeux Noel - Perspective XVII: The Little Things X
Lunch With Obama - Perspective XVI: The Little Things IX
One Motley Crue On The Bus Today - Perspective XV: The Little Things VIII
Attraction vs. Conversion: How To Power Your Blog - Perspective XIV: The Little Things VII
A glass box full of deep fried chicken heads - Perspective XIII: The Little Things VI
Seoul Searching - Perspective XII
He Would Have Shot Me 40 Years Ago - Perspective XI: The Little Things V
Chomsky on Colour & Sleep - Perspective X: The Little Things IV.2
Running With Scizzors - Perspective IX: The Little Things IV
Henry Miler II - Perspective VIII : The Little Things III.1
Henry Miller - Perspective VII: The Little Things III
Big Brother - Perspective VI: The Little Things II
This Carnival of Life! - Perspective V
The Art Walk - Perspective IV: The Little Things
Bentley #5 - Perspective III.2
Bentley vs. Vespa - Perspective III.1
Bentleys Invade Vietnam - Perspective III
Death Of A Colleague - Perspective II
Perspective

Bentley vs. Vespa: Perspective III.1

Based on the same calculations from last post, if I make just $2000 a month in Vietnam that's equivalent to making almost $450,000, after tax in the US, based on income that's 9.2 times the Per Capita GDP per year in my host country. I still can't buy a Bentley – but the Vespa salesmen love me!

For more on the "Perspective" or "Little Things" series, click below:

My Morning Wake-Up Call - Perspective XX: The Little Things XII
We'll Have A Gay Old Time - Perspective XIX: The Little Things XII
"Rolled Foggy Disposed Ricepaper" - Perspective XVIII: The Little Things XI
Joyeux Noel - Perspective XVII: The Little Things X
Lunch With Obama - Perspective XVI: The Little Things IX
One Motley Crue On The Bus Today - Perspective XV: The Little Things VIII
Attraction vs. Conversion: How To Power Your Blog - Perspective XIV: The Little Things VII
A glass box full of deep fried chicken heads - Perspective XIII: The Little Things VI
Seoul Searching - Perspective XII
He Would Have Shot Me 40 Years Ago - Perspective XI: The Little Things V
Chomsky on Colour & Sleep - Perspective X: The Little Things IV.2
Running With Scizzors - Perspective IX: The Little Things IV
Henry Miler II - Perspective VIII : The Little Things III.1
Henry Miller - Perspective VII: The Little Things III
Big Brother - Perspective VI: The Little Things II
This Carnival of Life! - Perspective V
The Art Walk - Perspective IV: The Little Things
Bentley #5 - Perspective III.2
Bentley vs. Vespa - Perspective III.1
Bentleys Invade Vietnam - Perspective III
Death Of A Colleague - Perspective II
Perspective

Bentleys Invade Vietnam: Perspective III

Recently, seeing a BMW in Vietnam has become like seeing a Bentley in the States in about the same way that seeing a Bentley in the States used to be like seeing the Space Shuttle in Lichtenstein. But since last year’s WTO accession, Vietnam has changed that matrix dramatically.

This week I saw three Bentleys in Ho Chi Minh City alone. Who knows how many ships are waiting off-shore with a cargo-hold full of Bentleys – and who knows who’s driving them. The first I saw, I was convinced was a hotel car, until the driver let the passengers off at the Park Hyatt and then waited in the public lot across the street instead of the hotel’s secure underground lot. You save a little money that way. The second was driving through the distinctly un-Bentley-esque back-packer tourist district and the third in a dealership, waiting for its new owner.

To own a Bentley in the US would mean that you have spent roughly 3.8 times the national per-capita GDP of $44,000 on a vehicle that retails at the least for $170,000 for the Continental Flying Spur model. But to own that same car in Vietnam would require that you shell out 111 times (scuze me, that's one hundred and eleven times!) the national per-capita GDP of $2600 once you tack on the 70% excise tax for that big (Volkswagen) engine inside for a total tag of $289,000.

To put it into complete perspective, that’s like paying, $4,884,000 for a vehicle in the States, relative to the average income of the country’s citizens – or seeing the Space Shuttle in Lichtenstein.